Here I Go...

My train leaves at 8:04pm on June 8th from Peachtree Ave. in Atlanta and heads north. After 11 hours and 5 minutes, I will be deposited in Charlottesville, Virginia, where I will spend a week or two at the Little Flower Catholic Worker Farm. Then, I will head south to Lynchburg to spend time with my dear friends the SewDevs, who are visiting some soon-to-be dear friends Chris and Melissa and their community.

Annie and Johnny SewDev stayed with us at the Sparrow Community House for about a month this past winter. We were so blessed to have them in our home and were honored to host their wedding reception at our house!

I’ll be in Virginia until the end of July, at which point I plan on meeting up with Hillary for the Jesus Radicals Conference After the conference, I plan on going to visit the Trinity House Catholic Worker in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Hopefully, Hillary will be joining me there! I have no plan after that.

I’m feeling both under and overwhelmed. I’m still packing and cleaning and sorting, but it doesn’t quite feel real yet. I move between excitement and terror, sometimes eagerly anticipating the most adventurous thing I’ve ever done, sometimes dreading the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. I’m leaving my job, my home, my dog, my partner, my things, my garden, my stability… How crazy is that???

It’s hard for me to come to peace with this decision, after so many years of scoffing at the young folks who leave college to “see the world” as a way to cling to the irresponsibility of their childhood before being forced to sell out and settle down. I was determined not to be one of those people. I value community and I value roots. It’s important me to know the place I live and to really be a part of it. I never intended to stay in Atlanta and I never really felt at home here, but the longer I lived here, the more obligated I’ve felt to stay- especially because so few people do. I wanted to prove that one CAN build real relationships in this city notorious for destroying them. But, I haven’t. I feel I am only just starting to understand this city and I am leaving. Maybe this is the coward’s way out and maybe that is just something I have to live with.

But I know God’s Grace will carry me through this and I hope to grow a lot during this time. I look forward to strengthening my friendship with these folks in Virginia who I’ve so enjoyed spending time with in Atlanta and I look forward to making new friends in New Mexico.

I think a lot of Jesus’ call to cease our idol-worship of money, material and security, his call to break our ties to our possessions and depend on God’s Grace to carry us through this life. I like to think I am trying to hear the call…

Then I laugh at myself when I remember my giant magenta suitcase in the other room, weighted down with books, clothes, bags of rice, beans, and lentils… I’m certainly comforted by the money I’ve saved and the belongings I will store at my Grandmother’s house until I can retrieve them. But what if I were to follow Jesus’ instructions in Matthew 10, Mark 6, Luke 9? If I believe that Jesus’ call is not just a metaphor for being grateful for what you have and being nice to people’s faces, like so many Pharisees (sorry, I meant ministers…) tell their congregations, why don’t I follow it?