Here I Go...

We arrived in Asheville on Saturday afternoon to sun and a local beer from our new roommate. Gulliver explored the grounds and lusted after the ducks in the yard before discovering the giant, low, bay window that he can stare out for hours at a time.

We’ve been reveling in the joy of living in this city that we’ve visited so many times. We’ve been spending every available minute with our friend because we can’t quite seem to realize that we LIVE here now and that this is not just a weekend visit.

Gulliver has enjoyed many walks as we explore our new neighborhood and get our bones used to this weather.

Making house has been easier than anticipated, since we actually have very little and so much of the house is already furnished. Our bedroom already feels homey and I am eagerly anticipating the arrival of our kitchen stuffs when Hillary goes through Atlanta again in a few weeks.

So, without further ado: OUR NEW HOME! More photos to come…

We went to church on Sunday! We had heard of Circle of Mercy from several people and met some of their congregation at the SOA this year. Turns our, they congregate just half a mile from our new house! So, we got to walk to church on Sunday evening. I had completely forgotten that Sunday was the first Sunday of advent! So, we got to watch small people light the first candle and listen to them clumsily inform us as to the meaning of advent (duh… Christmas is 28 days away!).

I’m thinking a lot about what it means to arrive in a new place just in time for the start of advent. A time devoted to waiting, praying for patience and glorious expectation. This is such a rich, pregnant time of the year and Hillary and I, too, are in this period of rich anticipation. It has to mean something-right?

I’m thinking of this especially as Hillary and I are on the receiving end of so much pressure from family and friends to know EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE DOING AND EXACTLY WHERE IT IS GOING TO TAKE US AND EXACTLY WHEN THAT WILL HAPPEN. Whew! I think it is especially hard on my sweetheart, who often often leaves said individuals with the idea that she is following me blindly and without personal fulfillment while I doddle off and try to seduce women out of birthing in perfectly-safe-hospitals. (I wonder at what point family stops analyzing every step one takes in life and actually trusts that perhaps we’ve actually put a good deal of thought and consideration into our decisions. 50? 100? Do I have to wait until I no longer have any elder relatives? When my Dad took his current job over 20 years ago, did all of his relatives call him with serious but-where-will-this-really-take-you? doubts? I have a sneaking suspicion that I could become the president of the universe and I would still get wind of secret whispers questioning my drive and ability).

 In all seriousness, it is difficult to explain life-decisions that are most definitely off-the-beaten-path, especially those that are specifically, consciously and precisely contrary to the beaten path! I think I have a slightly easier time than Hillary does because homebirth midwifery has a growing place in popular culture (thanks, Ricki Lake), but my choices and path are difficult to explain because they do not include words like: masters, nursing, residency, degree etc.

(reel it on in, Kirsten. land the plane…)

 How does this connect to advent? Well, patience. Hillary and I are in very different places in our life and our education/”careers”/callings, but neither of us can possibly know where we are going to end up or how we are going to get there. Isn’t that the beauty of it? My sister reminded me that SHE has no idea where she will end up when she finishes college, and how many of my friends with expensive four year degrees are still steaming latte milk? How many other people do I know doing something completely rad that they did not go to school for (if they went to school at all)? So many people go through mid-life career changes, life changes, status changes. Countless people have lost jobs, lost homes and lost lives. Others have found joyful lives in unexpected places. How can I possibly be expected to know exactly where my life will take me?

It’s hard to remember that when I’m being asked to justify and defend my life choices to skeptics, but my duty is not to impress them. My duty is to pray for patience and clarity and follow the path set before me. I can wait expectantly and make the best choices I am able, but there is some sort of freedom (when I’m not utterly terrified) in knowing that I am not in control.

Advent is about awaiting the coming of Christ, the coming of our savior, our messiah. For the Jews, this meant heavy expectation of long-awaited liberation from oppression (well, it turns out that that Rome didn’t fall at the hand of a warrior and Christ wasn’t the messiah for the Jewish people, but that’s beside the point right now). Advent is the practice of patiently expecting liberation from Empire.

I hope advent will be a good time to let that knowledge sink into my bones, so that I can begin to rid myself of the desire for validation from Empire.