Here I Go...

I had some difficulty in school growing up. Not necessarily in academics, but emotionally, school was a totally destructive environment for me. I was told a lot about the way I learn during those years in Public School (and during that one year my parents pulled me out of school). I was given an IndividualEducationPlan, pointers on “organization”, “studying”, writing etc. etc. I traded foreign language in middle school for support time. I was, thankfully, never told I was stupid. I was told that I had learning disabilities, that I had problems regurgitating information properly, that I didn’t have the proper attention span, that I was bad at organization, that I wasn’t really applying myself. I believed all of it- sometimes with self-defeat, other times with a self-rightoues understanding that the system I was being run through was not designed to fit me (though I still believed it fit most everyone else). I knew that grades and tests and papers did not reflect my true understanding of subject matter (haven’t we all scraped good grades in subjects we were totally lost in and found ourselves disappointed with grades on papers that we really enjoyed researching?), but I did not see any way out of this system (oh, how I wish I could go up to every high school student and shake them awake- NONE OF THIS MATTERS IN THE REAL WORLD! NONE OF IT! unless you want to be a high school teacher… in which case, remember all of it!).

As many of you know, I dropped out of college after one semester and have not looked back. Initially, I intended to continue my academic life at some point, believing I just needed a break. Over time, I came to realize how little our education system serves us, how little a college-degree provides, how deeply debt restricts us, that this system is only set up to marginalize those with little means (either through exclusion or by debt). I could not, nor did I want to, return.

Since then, my ideas and understanding have further developed to become skeptical of degrees, certification, and institutionalized learning in general. I believe firmly in a diversity of educational opportunities for ALL children and adults. For some (albeit few), the rigid structure and the system of institutional education is quite helpful! All power to ‘em. For many, it’s not. We all learn differently! I’ve come to learn a lot about and from Waldorf schools, Montessori schools, Free schools, Friends schools, unschooling and apprenticeship models. These different models work excellent for differently-talented individuals and groups of folks.

Since leaving school, I’ve discovered a LOT about how I learn and function. Much of it, not surprisingly, is quite contrary to what I was told about myself in my school days. I can look back and begin to see how different styles of education and different environments could have allowed me to flourish. I consider often, what kind of learning environment I want to provide for my own (future) children, and acknowledge that they will probably turn all of my carefully thought-out theories on their heads! My job, then, will be to listen to my children tell me how and what they need to learn.

So! after all of this, I am moving to Asheville… to go to “school”…

As I wrestled with my calling to midwifery, I wondered how I would go about gaining the skills and knowledge I need. There are many paths to becoming a midwife, which you can look up, or as me about if you want to know more, and they range from self-study to nursing school, all with varying degrees of legality (depending on the state, country etc.). I knew I did not want to follow the nursing (CNM) path, but that still left me with a lot of choices, many of which are difficult to discover, as midwifery is often practiced (and therefore taught) extralegally or illegally. I value the apprenticeship model immensely and knew that I wanted (and needed) that to be the biggest part of my “education”- but did I need to go to “school”? Plenty of midwives accept apprentices without formal education and I know I can study books theory on my own. I’m wary of GPAs, graded tests, credits- all those things that tend to limit our learning, rather than prove it. If I were to participate in a program, it would be for the community-building, community-ties, the chance to talk with others seeking the same knowledge I am. Yes, I want accountability in that knowledge; I want challenge! I know that the practice of midwifery is more than understanding anatomy and physiology, more than taking heart tones and blood pressure, more than vaginal exams and timing contractions. I wanted a program that would teach things holistically!

And I (think I hope I pray) I found a good fit!

I found The Matrona pretty early on in my search for midwifery programs. I liked the approach and scope described in the program. I liked the focus on holistic care, good communication, intuition, herbal and homeopathic medicine and the understanding that women’s bodies work best when left ALONE! Most of the programs were in the Pacific North West, however, and I have little desire to relocate there. So, I looked and looked and looked and looked and, months (years?) later… The Matrona Immersion Midwifery Program 2012… is to be held in Asheville, NC!

I filled out my application and spoke with Whapio over the phone. I already knew that I liked the way she thought about birth and midwifery, but when I heard her talk about the structuring of her program, I was for sure excited. She spoke about her program being about life and midwifery- not just clinical care. She spoke about the importance of communication, conflict resolution, counseling, and development of intuition. She told me that she gives optional reading every night because she believes the communal experience of coming to class everyday (without shame or fear) is more important than completing assignments on a rigid timeline (when you could always do them later- even after the course is ending!). She told me that she gives tests (with the answers) for us to take home and complete at the end of the program and keep for ourselves, because, of course, we will understand the results of our testing and what that means for us better than anyone else. Her understanding of priority in the “classroom” (or, living room as the case may be) is so in line with my values about education (which can often be rather anarchistic).

Then, a few weeks ago, I registered for the program.

So, it is with confidence and excitement that I embark upon this journey. I ask for your prayers (and if you have any connections to possible employment in Asheville, that wouldn’t hurt either).